so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
