roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
