that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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