I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
