i think i have two assholes
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You ruined the universe
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
