I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
