I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
