I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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