I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
