Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
