Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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