how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
