I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
