Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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