so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
