There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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