I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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