I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
