I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
