I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize