Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
