Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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