okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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