I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
