how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
