I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
