Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
