your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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