Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i've created a new STD.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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