were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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