Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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