One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
