Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
