Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize