Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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