Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize