the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
