just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
