he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
