Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
