My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize