All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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