hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
