Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
