I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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