U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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