So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
