No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
