..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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