Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
