Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
