i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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