I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
