I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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