pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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