I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
