My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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