the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
