Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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