I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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