I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
