your room smells of hookers.
And success
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
