Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dear god my vagina.
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