Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
