I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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