I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
