Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
