nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
