We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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