Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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