right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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