i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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