i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
